BIGGER THan me

Good morning!  So yesterday I purchased my plane ticket; this is about to get real.  In less than a month I will be in one of my favorite places in the world, Uganda!  Now all I have to do is send the rest of the money out to Colorado to the HUM offices.  YIKES! Anyways, I'm gonna be honest, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous for this adventure.  Traveling, aka flying, by myself is terrifying to me, but how else am I gonna get there? 
Alright, so I'm gonna get down to the purpose of my trip.  The past couple months have been pretty rough and challenging to say the least.  There has been so much going on that I almost feel like I'm losing myself in the madness.  As soon as I got back from Uganda in 2009 I knew I wanted to go back at some point in my life.  I'll be honest, 3 months ago I would never have imagined that I'd be going back already.  Because of a series of events I've allowed myself to selfishly make this decision for myself by myself.  I do feel like it is a somewhat selfish decision because I'm hoping to be changed again while I'm there.  I'm hoping that the Lord will use the wonderful people that I meet to transform me more into His likeness.  I'm sick of doing the same thing everyday.  I used to love my job, but lately the sameness of it all is irritating me.  I'm sick of caring more about the kids' education than they do.  I'm sick of coming to work everyday and feeling like I have to convince them that their education is important for them to succeed in life.  I'm just sick of how selfish I feel everyday for not wanting to be here.  Now don't get me wrong, I do love these kids and wouldn't want to work anywhere else, but I just need to do something bigger than me to put everything in my life in perspective.  My counselor told me that I need to look at my life from 30,000 feet above.  I'm not sure he thought I would take it literally, but I'm a very literal person so why not?  I want to stop choosing to feel selfish about everything that happens.  I don't really like the person I've become in the past couple months because I tend to somehow make everything about me...nobody likes that person.  I'm sick of having pity parties for myself by myself.  I'm ready to surround myself with something that is so much bigger than me that I don't even THINK about myself!  Uganda here I come!